I awoke one morning with this heavy realization that this was in fact happening. Our family was moving and not just into another neighborhood or town but an entirely new Country. We would be getting on a plane in Winnipeg, Manitoba Canada and flying to Bangor Maine USA to get into a car and drive another 2h on to the Island of Mount Dessert to a small town on the coast called Southwest Harbor. We would leave our 1400sq ft modern home to rent a 800sq ft home built in 1865 that cost almost as much to heat as it did to rent!! As I began the packing process we quickly realized relocating all of our possessions was not in our budget. I don’t think our belongings were even worth the 10,000 plus dollars it would have been to move them, but were the memories? As I began to sort though the baby clothing, toys, artwork, family heirlooms the tears came in waves. All I could do was cry out to God for help. How does one get a lifetime of memories into two suitcases a person? My husband was already in Maine. He had been living between the two Countries since we were married. Being an eel and lobster fisherman there wasn’t much work for him in land locked Winnipeg. So I had 8 suitcases I could fill, but we were also all needed clothing lol. At first it was so hard then a cathartic peace washed over me, a peace that can only come from the Holly Spirit. I know this because I could not ever have done it under my own strength. I should have known then that something big was in the works. But I was to involved with the task at hand, and thinking to hard about anything seemed overwhelming and completely daunting.
We settled into our beautiful quaint home just at the hight of spring and it was gorgeous. I had a beautiful and romantic introduction to Maine. The simple and refreshing way many live their lives here was so foreign to me but so exciting. I was born and raised in a city, but I have always been a county girl at heart. So deeply renewed and refreshed by the simplicity of Gods beautiful creation. But as the Summer came to a close. Fall was usered in by cool winds and foliage that I’d never seen before, it was breathtaking! The tourists all went home and the Island became quiet. The reality that I was not in Kansas anymore began to hit and God came in like wild-fire. I have struggled my whole life with mental health and feelings of inadequacy. As a result I probably had a pretty co-dependant relationship with my mother. For she was how I processed my life, she was my filter. I was taught not to trust my own perception. But out here I was on my own and had no choice but to find my feet. But well I didn’t find my feet in the way I thought a person should. What I am finding are these beautifully well made footprints to follow in the snow. Growing up on the Canadian prairies finding a path someone else has already made that morning in the newly fallen 4ft of snow it like winning a lottery! This is what I feel its like, there is this constant blizzard of life I am trying to find my way through. First there is my everyday life and the stuff that comes up. Being a momma of three kids 2,8,11 a wife, homeschooler a hobby homesteader and trying to run a lifestyle business, oh my gosh the hats I try on lol! Then there is the years of fog I’m trying to let go of and find my true self within. So there in lies the blizzard but everyday I seem to somehow find this well made footprint path to follow and when I stray it’s so darn deep I simply can’t continue and am lovingly reminded to make my way back to the path. So as the walls began to close and I was feeling very lost out here at the end of the world. I had a very vivid dream. Our family owned a farm, a beautiful large property with tons of land, and on it was our family home, a church, a daycare, a school, and a leadership retreat. We had a beautiful private home hobby farm and many animals. I woke up from this dream so full of hope and overflowing with ideas and inspiration. But how in the world was any of this ever going to happen. We had been house hunting for months already and there was NO WAY we could afford anything that would allow us that much space. So I just continued to pray and daydream not ever knowing what was in store. Now fast forward 1 year and God has given us an amazing home with 17 acres so much room to grow and develop the property into whatever He leads us towards. Right now its a daily comical development of a city atheist, pop culture “pretty girl’ becomes an accidental homeschooling, homesteading, crunchy christian. My mom was recently teasing me in a phone conversation that I can’t seem to fit into a box. I always seen to be pushing boundaries no matter what I do. Even as I sit here writing this I am constantly interrupted by having to go shoo our free ranging flock of chickens out of my garden! They are eating all my sprouts, an experienced farmer would probably have had some forethought there. Yesterday I had to go rescue a duckling who got his foot caught and is now hobbling around with a splint made from a broken bbq skewer, old sweatpants and medical tape! We have lovingly named this lovely little duckling Watermelon. After spending a few weeks in the basement under a heat lamp the littles were finally able to move out to the barn with the ladies (our 9 chickens). Our children often share their fruit and veggie scraps from their various snacks out in the yard with them. Calling them over and tossing them apple cores carrots nubs of whatever they happen to be nibbling. This particular duckling got his name after our eldest son accidentally hit the duckling over the head when tossing his watermelon rind. The poor little tyke was knocked right over behind over tea kettle, for a moment they were all very concerned! But he soon shook it off and waddled away. But this is now the THIRD event for this little duck so we are beginning to question if this rind incident may have caused permanent damage. We can’t ever share these thoughts with our poor son though he’s still traumatized about the whole thing. So off little Watermelon hobbles with his homemade duckie splint with prayer and well wishes.
My essential oils are spread from one end of our home to the other making salves, roller balls and sprays to deter bugs and treat the various bites, scraps and random rashes developing from being outside trying to develop and get this farm off the ground. My husband and I are learning as we go and its total trial by error. As I am forced to really think on the past few months I am overcome with Joy at how incredibly luck we are on so many levels. The work that is being done within our family through this scary life altering move across the country is nothing short of miraculous. This morning we bottled a new batch of fire cider, set kombucha and water kiefer to brew, made granola from scratch collected all the eggs, fed and watered the chickens, ducks and dog and its only 10:00am. We still have school to get through and tons of work developing and preparing the property and farm. What will become of our little endeavor only God truly knows. But the gifts and growth, awareness and lessons we are being given as individuals, a married couple, parents and a family are absolutely priceless. I am so thankful that I was plucked from my comfort zone. I was totally stuck and completely blind to it! If you offered my house back full of all our memories and things I would give them all away again to end up here. But even more I would also freely give up all we have built thus far here and start all over again for a second, third , fourth and fifth time. For I know now that one gains so much more through experiences, growth and giving. As opposed to holding on to the past protecting and guarding a vision of what we feel we should be attaining to find happiness. There is complete freedom in true surrender and release. I would not change our beautiful uncertain chaos for anything. That is possibly the biggest gift of them all a genuine thanks, love and appreciation for my life, my marriage our home our children absolutely just as they are. I adore you Adam Dragon you are my life and my heart forever, and I am so blessed to be on this crazy ride with you! God lead us and we will follow hand in hand ❤